Why Ageing Can Trigger Body Image Struggles,  And What to Do About It - Guest Blog

As we age, a subtle yet powerful transformation begins to occur. Our bodies change. Our skin softens, our shape shifts, and we start to store fat in places we didn’t before. For many women, this is a natural part of ageing. But for others, these changes can stir up something more profound,  a long-buried struggle with body image, or even an eating disorder that has been dormant for years.

I see this often in therapy: women who were fine in their 20s and 30s, who suddenly feel overwhelmed in midlife by body dysmorphia, disordered eating habits, or a relentless inner critic. What’s happening isn’t just about appearance;  it’s about control, identity, and grief.

Let’s break down why.

The Science of Changing Bodies in Midlife

First, the facts. As we move into perimenopause and menopause, estrogen levels drop. This hormone isn’t just about reproduction; it plays a significant role in metabolism, fat distribution, and even mood regulation. With lower estrogen levels, our bodies naturally begin to store more fat, particularly around the abdomen.

This is not a sign of failure. This is biology.

Your body isn’t broken,  it’s adapting. But diet culture doesn’t teach us this. Instead, we’re told that weight gain is something to fight, that we should shrink ourselves at all costs, and that youthful thinness is the ultimate goal.

No wonder so many women feel like they’re failing.

Why Midlife Can Uncover Old Body Image Wounds

What’s often happening underneath the surface isn’t just dissatisfaction with a changing body. It’s old pain resurfacing. Maybe you were never truly at peace with your body, even when it fit society’s expectations. Perhaps you grew up in a house where thinness was praised and softness was shamed. Or maybe your identity was built around youth, and now you’re grieving a version of yourself that no longer exists.

Grief is natural. So is change. But if no one ever gave you the tools to process that loss, it’s easy to turn to control,  controlling food, exercise, your reflection,  as a way to manage the discomfort.

Body Dysmorphia Isn’t Always Obvious

Body dysmorphia doesn’t just affect young people or influencers. It appears in everyday women, professionals, mothers, and grandmothers, who look in the mirror and feel a deep sense of unease. You might know rationally that your body is fine, but emotionally, it feels unbearable.

You’re not alone.

Body image becomes more complex as we age, not less. We start comparing ourselves not just to others, but to our younger selves. “I used to wear that.” “I used to look like that.” “I used to feel more confident.”

But that version of you wasn’t better. She was just different.

The Real Issue Isn’t Your Body,  It’s the Distraction

Here’s the hard truth: when we obsess over our bodies, we often avoid something else. Anxiety. Grief. A fear of being irrelevant. A struggle with identity as our roles shift.

Worrying about how you look can become a convenient distraction from feeling what’s underneath.

So the invitation here is not to shame yourself for caring about your body, but to get curious.

➔ What else might be going on?

➔ What’s the real fear beneath the fixation?

➔ What emotions are you avoiding by focusing on food, clothes, or the mirror?

Reclaiming Your Body Image With Compassion

Here’s where the healing begins:

1. Get clear on what matters.

If you were 80 years old, looking back on your life, what would you rather remember,  being kind to yourself, or punishing yourself for every grey hair and curve? Your body is not a project. It’s a home.

2. Dress for the body you have now.

Stop trying to fit into clothes that belonged to a different decade. Discover styles that suit your current body, flatter your shape, and make you feel confident. This isn’t giving up,  it’s growing up.

3. Honour your body’s needs.

During menopause and beyond, our bodies crave nourishment, not restriction. Skipping meals or cutting carbs isn’t a solution;  it’s a fast track to fatigue, anxiety, and emotional instability. Listen to what your body is asking for. Nourish, don’t punish.

4. Feel your feelings.

Instead of controlling food or exercise, you can explore the emotions you might be avoiding. Journaling, therapy, or using tools like The Six Minute Diary can help shift your focus from body shame to gratitude. Daily practices reshape your brain’s pathways.

5. Move for joy, not punishment.

Your body might be slower. It might ache more. But it still moves. Walking, dancing, stretching,  these aren’t chores, they’re celebrations of what your body can do.

Grieve the Loss. Celebrate the Change.

There’s a myth that accepting your body means giving up. It doesn’t.

You’re allowed to grieve your younger self. You’re allowed to feel sad that your shape has changed. Your metabolism has slowed. That you no longer feel as confident in certain outfits.

Grief is not weakness; it’s growth.

Allow yourself to feel the loss of the person you once were. But don’t stay there. Let that grief move you into gratitude for everything your body still does. For the strength it holds. For the life you get to keep living.

Final Thoughts: You Only Get One Life

This is it. One body. One life. One chance to decide how you’re going to treat yourself.

Will you continue to criticise, shrink, and compare?

Or will you choose to evolve,  to age with grace, to nourish your belly and your soul, and to speak to yourself like someone you love?

It’s not easy. But it’s worth it.

You deserve more than a life of shame and struggle. You deserve peace. And it starts by choosing kindness over criticism one day, one meal, one thought at a time.

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About the Author

I’m Becky Stone, a qualified eating disorder therapist based in the UK. I support both teens and adults through body image struggles, binge eating, anorexia, and emotional trauma. My work is informed by both my lived experience and professional training, offering a compassionate, shame-free space for healing. Learn more or book a free intro call at www.counsellorwhocares.co.uk.