Common Beliefs About ADHD – What’s Actually True
“I’m just lazy.”
“I should be able to do this.”
“Maybe I’m just making excuses.”
“ADHD isn’t real—I’m just a bad person.”
“People don’t like me.”
“I’m a burden.”
“I’m a failure.”
“I’m stupid.”
If any of these thoughts feel familiar, you are not alone.
Many adults with ADHD carry these painful beliefs—quietly and heavily—for years. They come from a lifetime of misunderstandings, unmet expectations, and trying to live in a world that wasn’t built for their brain.
In this blog I want to share a different message: ADHD is real. Your struggles are real. And none of those thoughts define your worth.
I invite you to look at some of the most common (and harmful) beliefs about ADHD—and what’s actually true.
Myth #1: “ADHD is just an excuse for laziness.”
Truth: ADHD affects your brain’s ability to manage tasks, time, focus, and emotions. It’s not about effort or willpower.
You care deeply, want to succeed, and try hard every single day—but still find it hard to do “simple” things. That’s not laziness. That’s linked with a struggle with executive functions, a core part of ADHD. It makes things like starting tasks, staying organised, or switching focus incredibly difficult—not because you don’t want to, but because your brain is wired differently.
Myth #2: “I just don’t have motivation.”
Truth: ADHD brains respond to motivation in a different way—especially when dopamine is involved.
People with ADHD are often very motivated. You might want to do something so badly—and yet feel unable to begin. That’s because ADHD brains aren’t fuelled by routine or pressure the same way others are. They often need interest, novelty, or urgency to activate.
That disconnect can leave you feeling like a failure. But the problem isn’t your desire—it’s that your brain needs a different kind of fuel.
Myth #3: “ADHD isn’t real.
Truth: ADHD is a real - and denying it can make life harder.
ADHD is a difference in how your brain is wired. Understanding how it works - and learning to respect and work with it is key to dissolve shame and clearing up common misconceptions. When you understand how your brain is wired you can begin to shift negative beliefs that may have formed from painful messages like:
- "You're lazy."
- "You're messy."
- "You're too emotional."
- "You're too much. "
Over time, these messages can become deeply internalised as beliefs such as:
- “People don’t like me.”
- “I’m a burden.”
- “I’m stupid.”
- “I always mess things up."
But these aren’t facts - they’re stories your brain wrote to make sense of confusion and pain. They’re not the truth of who you are.
These beliefs often grow out of a world that assumed that all brains should work the same way. But we know that's simply not true. ADHD is just one of many ways a brain can be wired.
Myth #4: “If I tried harder, I’d be fine.”
Truth: You’ve probably been trying harder than anyone realises.
Adults with ADHD often work twice as hard just to get through the day. You may have built elaborate systems, stayed up late catching up, or spent hours overthinking things that seem easy for others. You may also carry a deep sense of guilt or shame when things still fall apart.
The truth is, you’re not lazy or undisciplined. You’ve been working overtime with tools that weren’t designed for your brain.
What Actually Helps?
There’s no one-size-fits-all answer, but here are strategies that work better for ADHD brains than willpower alone:
- Body doubling: Doing a task alongside someone else can make it easier to start and stick with it.
- Timers and visual reminders: Help combat time blindness and overwhelm.
- Tiny tasks: Breaking things down into super small steps makes action more possible.
- Compassion and community: The less shame you carry, the more energy and clarity you gain.
In conclusion: You’re Not Broken. You’re Not a Failure. You’re Not Alone.
ADHD is real. And so is the pain of living with misunderstood struggles for years.
Need help managing your ADHD stress? Let’s work together to find tools that suit your unique brain. Head over to the contact form to send me a message or email jael@art-of-listening.co.uk
In my next blog article I will discuss why people with ADHD tend to struggle with sleep and share some tips to improve it. Stay tuned.